myinnerwires

Untitled 2

Tue, 10 May 2005 14:17:21 GMT

Where would I be without her? She is, without a doubt, such a vital part to my existance. Though I've always been someone who needs social interaction on some level, I also have always needed my personal time. Yet, with her, I feel I never want to be alone. I never need to be by myself, though in all reality, it is because she is a part of me and therefor, I am with my complete self when I am with her.

I've never felt this way. An almost a cliched saying but very, very true. I've never felt complete like I do with Cassandra. It's almost surreal. My whole life has gained direction, ambition and motivation since I started seeing her.

I can't really write right now. I want to, but I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment. She's so beautiful...

Thus the dam breaks

Mon, 02 May 2005 01:53:44 GMT

Sometimes the aggravation of trying to decide the grand plot of a story can be the most excruciating form of frustration. You'll pick at your mind for days, sometimes weeks, trying to figure out what exactly is suppose to happen next. You've set the stage, cast the important characters and yet, the script is missing.

Sleeping and I have never held hands very well and it's far worse when I have immersed myself in a project. I can conjure a half dozen possible scenarios for the story, but it's not about just picking one that will fit. It's about finding the scenario that truly belongs there and will not just complete the story, but turn it into it's own unique world.

I draw inspiration from just about everything. Whether it's a movie, another book, a video game, a conversation I have with one of the others within the Three*. Small bits and pieces can be pulled from each of those, mutated, twisted, evolved into an entirely new piece of the puzzle, yet it seems so often that I'm never satisfied with the end result. Sometimes it will look as though the idea is not my own at all, but a simple rewording of something that is already done. Far too easy. Other times it strays too far from the original concept that I am trying to achieve. No, that won't do at all.

There are times when the entire project will be dropped as no satisfactory result can be achieved. However, every so often the dam breaks and the waters of inspiration flood in. With 'The Riamese Scripts', that has finally occurred. I had typed up the first twelve pages or so and realized that I was at the point where I had to decide what the hell was going to happen to this story. I spoke with one of the Three about it, but I couldn't seem to find the catch. I spoke to Cassandra about it and she suggested taking bits and pieces of each of the scenarios I had come up with and weaving a tale out of the combination. It was that thought that actually brought about my salvation. It lead me in thought back to a previous attempt I had made at a similar fashion of story but which I had abandoned due to the amateur ability it showed. The concept was still good, but the execution had been poor. The Riamese Scripts would provide me with a chance to once more bring that concept to fruition.

So the work will continue. It will go forth and hopefully find itself born one day.

*The Three is a writing group comprised of myself and two of my close friends from highschool.

Breaking the Ice

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 15:51:39 GMT

Last weekend I was down in Waltham, Mass. visiting my girlfriend, Cassandra. It had been four long, long, horrible, lonely months since I had seen her. I never would have imagined that feeling someone's hand in mine could make me so happy.

But, there were a lot of aspects of the trip that were even greater than the simple phyisical closeness. I've never met anyone who I got along with as well as Cassandra. I have so much fun hanging out with her. The girl makes me laugh like no one else does. She's a total riot! I can talk about anything with her. She rocks my world on so many levels.

I love her. So much.

Alright, that's it for now. I'm new to this whole journal concept, so I suppose I just have to take it all one entry at a time.

Cassandra felt that using live journal as a promotional tool for my writing might not be such a bad idea. So, anyone wishing to take a look at the current story I'm working on can read it at http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/user_id/lcvarnum It's a sci-fi/horror about a man who finds himself stranded on a derelict colony cruiser. Progress is slow at the moment. It's the first writing I've really worked on in over a year. I think it's coming along nicely though. I hope those of you who decide to give it a glance enjoy what you read.